how to date your wife while living in west africa

Venturing out to celebrate our 11 year anniversary on June 1, 2012.

Drop the kids at the neighbors. Thanks, Audrey & Ron!

Wisk [actually, rattle] her off to town in the Tata.

Go to the nicest restaurant at the [only] Accra Mall .

Sit near the huge sparkling windows so she can ogle every glamorous pair of shoes or dress that passes.

Let her have all the sour cream - and guacamole -while you enjoy the cheese on the appetizer nachos [after 11 years you know she likes that green stuff just as much as cheese]

Join her in ordering just water....our spending does have limits.

Don't complain when she orders a meal more expensive than yours- and it's a salad.

Laugh with her at the ridiculous fountain for hand washing [the kids would've loved it] and the attendant standing guard over it.

Wander into Shoprite [the most 'normal' grocery store in Ghana] & only buy some doodad on clearance. No potatoes. No hotdogs. No pretend butter.

Let her order a ghc 7 caramel latte & be totally cool with the guy making it giving her a wink & dashing her the cost of the flavour and don't roll your eyes when she wonders if they could make it skinny.

Pay waaaay too much for a cinema ticket- but enjoy laughing at a ri-dic-u-lous will smith flick. We take ourselves way too seriously these days. This place is an emotional rollercoaster [only for her of course] & it feels good to just get off for awhile.

Take her up on running through the rain to our India-made luxury pseudo-jeep. Maybe a lady would've chosen waiting for you to pull up at the entrance but this girl has come too far in 11 years to bother with that kind of nonsense.

Last bit? Do this again. Soon.

Walls of peace

And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your heart & your minds through Christ Jesus. [Ph. 4:7]

Ever felt like a prisoner in your own home?

That's when the children...the schoolbooks...sickness...no money...no vehicle or just no reason to go keeps you in one spot. Those walls just close right in, don't they? When my 3&4 yr olds were infants I often fought those feelings from behind a pile of diapers, dishes or laundry.

Then the walls were mental. I [usually] had a vehicle, sometimes I had a place to go. Like Nanny or Grandma's house or the mom's playgroup at church.

Now I have concrete block walls, barbed wire, gates, padlocks, barred windows, barred doors & a guard [not so much] dog. And more reasons to stay home than go away. Sound like prison? Yep, & it has felt that way at times.

Within these walls, in a way more focused than ever before, lies my purpose. To care for my husband. To make his labor easier. To care for my children. To keep them clean, healthy & learning to labor with me. [NO, shoving the toys under the bookshelf is not cleaning up. YES, I love when you do the dishes..so do the ants. ;)]

These walls that pen us in also seem to hold onto our attitudes & tensions rather well. We all want to do better at letting them blow up & over the wall. One of the things the children pick up so quickly is my continued attitude about living, in these walls, in Ghana. They've heard enough about the obedience part of moving here! I have to show them consistently that home is wherever God has placed us. Pennsylvania is not the promised land of toys, fast food and all that other stuff that just doesn't happen in West Africa. Snow & Cherry Crest Adventure Farms top Max's list. But it is the land of Nanny, Grandma & Aunties!

The walls, locks & gates have also been a practical adjustment. When we leave, we go out through the back porch where the door grate is separate from the door. Makes padlocks much easier. However, when my mental list is scattered, and I have to go back in for something...through several padlocks & two doors. Not good. Once in the shuffle to leave, we had locked the house & were locking the front gate when we realized Rory was not with us. Jon went back in to hear him calling "Daddy" from the washroom! Poor fellow.

We tend to lock up as soon as it gets dark if we will be staying home that night. Ghanaians tend to go to bed soon after dark & rise with the sun. So there is often no coming & going after 7pm. Locking up means padlocking the driving gate & door gate & the three doors of the house. I used to go to take out the garbage & find myself locked in! Who is so determined to take out the garbage that they open 5 padlocks to do it? [That's when I use the city dwellers trick for garbage- freeze it! Thanks, Anna Z.:) ] And all that would make me sigh at my super-responsible padlock-loving husband. It's taken us a year, but we've worked out our evening routine now.

One of the favorite spots for the boys is in the orange tree by the front wall. They have a front row perch for the traffic passing, the construction going on next door & for friends to come home from school. They don't feel trapped. Instead, they enjoy the security & perspective the walls & tree give them.

I want that too.

Security in being a help-meet wife & truth-grace mother. And perspective on who is my priority, who is my standard & how very blessed I am to have spiritual walls of peace to guard my heart & mind through Christ Jesus.

[Now. Who has the keys?!]

Jon & Elle locking up after I left for the clinic this morning.